how to write an a* a-level history essay (w/ my example essay) | shannon nath

[Music] hello everybody and welcome back to my channel let’s say excuse my voice I’m extremely ill at the moment and that also explains why I can absolute mess but have a hot chocolate and I’m figured I would do possibly the most requested video on my channel ever no it’s not true it’s pretty requested though but basically it is I have to write an a-level history essay and I have here one of my a laborious treat essays I did towards the end of year 12 I’ve got me 20 out of 25 marks which was an a-minus I believe this essay is specifically from Russia but this is the same thought process I follow for tutors and would follow if I was doing any other course so without further ado let’s get into this video I’ve got hot chocolate I just brought my hot chocolate because I do feel like it’s gonna be a particularly long video in this essay the question I had to answer was to what extent was the czar responsible for his own downfall in February 1917 but basically it is a factor question and it’s asking you to identify the main factors causing the sort of point that they’re focusing on which is the downfall of the Tsar and they’re giving you one factor which is his own person or looks ability and you’re expected to know the other factors and you’re expected to formulate an argument as to why each factor is as important in the Southtown fall and choose the most important one and conclude on it so it is like I said a simple factor question and most of them are at a level I thought I start with what is on marks scheme so specifically for art subjects marks schemes they are so unspecific and they just say like sustained analysis and you just think what does that mean our teacher marks our essays on these sheets of paper and I’m basically going to put everything that’s on the assessment sheet and kind of explain it to you guys the first thing is question focus and that is basically your ability to answer the question there is no point in having the question why our dogs are great and then starting to talk about why dinosaurs are bad to put it in simple terms you need to focus on the question and the factors and you need to remember the key factors that come up when you were studying that topic if you don’t know any of the factors you’re going to struggle to write the essay and honestly there’s no point in doing it second thing are examples so this is examples and evidence really if you’re not giving any sort of evidence or examples as to why what you’re saying is true it may as well not be an asset like in any argument based subject you have to back up what you’re saying and if you can’t do that who has that to believe another thing is organization so this is basically your paragraphs your sentencing and making sure you’re getting the right argument across the only sort of thing I can think to explain in that sense is to have an introduction main body paragraphs and conclusion there doesn’t need to be an over-the-top essay format your regular essay format works ministry like any other subject and the other thing is spelling punctuation and grammar kind of self-explanatory basically making sure your English language is good one of the harder things is evaluation of evidence you need to be able to critically understand and evaluate why the evidence is useful in each circumstance so say for example one of my arguments in this essay is that the reason that the Czar fell was because of the increase in popularity in opposition groups so I need to give evidence of that popularity increase so I’ve said that the number of strikers increases and I’ve given the exact figures and facts I can say that improves that the people were becoming discontented radicalized and against the general government structure which is who pays their wages if they’re discontented with the government structure then it means they’re discontented with the Czar which is why he fell so that’s what it means by critically evaluating your evidence at least I think another thing is that interpretations need to be critically evaluated so if you have a so if you have a sort of argument and that’s that oh I think it was the Tsar’s responsibility I agree with the question then you need to be able to say what that isn’t just your evidence that needs to have a good argument and perhaps be backed up by some historians or just backed up by one sort of general with you if that makes sense I know that they’re very confusing and that they kind of don’t make sense but they’re just some of the things that we get assessed on but I sense they’re the ways that you write a good essay the next thing I’m gonna do is I’m gonna show you guys how I would write a paragraph and tell you the key things that I include the first thing is that my opening statement has to explain my argument for my second paragraph the first thing that I say is firm or the Czar’s military defeats and lack of inter actually the Doomer examples of why there was such a decline in support an increase in opposition groups in this sentence I’m telling the examiner what I’m going to be telling them and then after that I’m going to give the evidence that backs up the second thing is appoint evidence explain so if you have a point like that you need to give evidence and you need to explain it it’s very simple English stuff and you might think there’s two day level and you need to follow a really over-the-top structure but that’s not true like even if you think it’s low level try it and then start to develop on it because you’ll find that every good argument follows that typical structure but I then going to say a one major change from 1917 to the 1905 revolution was the lack of support from the army despite small mutinies in 1905 the majority of the army had repressed strikes and remained loyal however due to military reforms the period of service was cut which led soldiers spending a large portion of their time in civilian life and firsthand experiencing their struggle that was my sort of first point evidence explain I know it kind of moves together but the point that I’m trying to make in this paragraph is that this revolution is different from the previous revolution which means that it couldn’t have been the Tsar’s own fault and like I said before this isn’t gonna make sense if you’re not studying Russia but I do try and give that point evidence expect the next thing is statistics these are so important in history they are your evidence having good statistics numbers percentages dates things that happen like they will seriously back up your argument and move it to the next level my next point I say added to this the increasing number of strikes emphasized the discontent with working conditions of living conditions and other socio-economic factors for example the 22nd of February 20,000 workers went on strike from the putilov Works Factory also the Petrograd garrison mutiny against instruction joining an army protesters pour over an increasing number of people turned to the Bolsheviks and became radicalized as shown for the increase in sales of the propter a reason for this time to Bolsheviks lights of the military defeats and master in Russia in 1914 1.8 million Russians were either dead kidnapped or wounded my next key point is to have a good closing sentence that links back to the question now I don’t actually do this in this paragraph from a teacher commented on it so I think that’s essential to do all the time I think he commented on about that paragraph is to have a better example so my examples on the military paragraph weren’t ridiculously strong like I had though but I could have had better examples which the reason I’m still showing you guys this paragraph is whilst is the perfect it’s still good and I can now identify what I need to do to improve another thing I want to mention which I didn’t do this essay is historiography if I said that correctly so with historiography you need to basically include historians and tap rotations either through quotes or through arguments and demonstrate like either agreeing with them or disagreeing with them and using them to justify your own points again this is not something you need to do but this is something that our teacher said can boost your grade potentially but it isn’t essential it’s just if you include it it does make it look like you’ve done your Y Teresa the final thing is to end the conclusion you need to make your argument by undermining every previous argument you’ve made so in my conclusion I basically go back to the question and I agree with what they’re saying and I say that it is the Czar’s fault and I take every other argument and I undermine it and say it’s not fully strong because of this this isn’t this and then I take the potential arguments you could make to the factor and point it out and say those are wrong because of this business and this I kind of make son but I’ll show you mine anyway to conclude every factor for this a scalpel can be linked back to his own personal safe my sake as a political leader so in the first sentence I basically say this is my argument this is what I’m saying then I say oppositional groups have been pre-existing yet grew massively at this point due to the sakai decline in supports shown through the number of strikes however had the socioeconomic concerns not been an issue it is questionable as to what role the peasants brackets in made up 90% of the society would have played and whether they would have even joined these oppositional groups so I’m undermining the oppositional groups by saying it’s the socio economic factors fault add to this the same can be said surrounding the start the First World War I said amplified the political incompetence but I’ve already existed had Russia not actively joined the war through mobilization questionable whether Azhar would have made so many air over small mistakes at this point so in that argument I’m rebranding Lazar for the military’s mistakes and sort of saying it’s all on him because he decided to join the war not them as a whole is clearly at the Czar’s personal mistakes for socio-economic conditions and the impacts of world one of the three factors that completely destroyed any chance at maintaining an autocratic government where the opposition groups remain inactive emphasized by the lack of leadership and organization the peasants focused on their livelihood and took more of a stance when they were stretched to the limit yeah all these issues in Russia link back to the Tsar’s personal and previous decisions to not consider attempt to change as a result his make his own mistakes for the main cause of his downfall so I hope you can kind of see that I basically just undermine every argument and blame bazaar entirely for what happened then whilst actually judging history I don’t think it’s entirely his fault it’s important for me in the essay to give that structured argument and to really force plan upon him so you prove my point if that makes sense it just shows like sustained analysis all that kind of stuff that is basically everything I have for this video I can already feel that if my history teachers watch it they’re just gonna be sitting there thinking actually no you’re wrong because of this this isn’t this I’m not a history teacher so I can’t give you the exact reasons and I may explain things wrong I’m not trying to say my advice is exact and if your teachers told you differently trust them over me I just thought this might be helpful to some people that I really start building when writing their essays or just going into you twelve but an example so yeah thank you so much for watching sure to LIKE comment subscribe and share and I hope you’re having a wonderful day you know whatever you’re having bye

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